Man, kids are smart

As we all know, video games are the cause of most of the world's ills -- for another few weeks. The kids are well aware of this, so as a consequence when a kid was caught making Molotov cocktails, he naturally blamed it not on TV, cinema, rock n'roll, comic books or anything else the judge might not go for. No, he blamed it on Grand Theft Auto (GTA). There was a flaw in his plan...

It’s questionable whether the kids actually discovered how to make Molotov Cocktails from any of the games in the GTA series, because the weapon comes ready-assembled in the game.

[From Teens admit to Grand Theft Auto-inspired petrol bombfest | Register Hardware]

When you were a revolting yob in the 1950s you could blame it on rock n' roll. In the 1960s, you could blame in on television. In the 1970s, Clockwork Orange. In the 1980s, Mrs. Thatcher and yoof disenfranchisement. In the 1990s, it was rap music. Today, it's... computer games.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Psychlepath

I was riding my government-subsidised bicycle to work again today and I noticed that I'm actually turning into a proper cyclist, and this is only my first month. I got really upset by cars cutting me up on the A320, gnashed my teeth because the council has let bushes grow over the path, swore at cars parked half on the pavement and felt a strange, warm glow of supercilliousness as I freewheeled past the petrol station. I don't know what's happening to me...

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Paint it black (and then and jewels)

I was walking down Oxford Street with a friend and he pointed out a Muslim woman walking past in black head-to-toe covering, which I believe is called a hijab. In the back, picked out in sparkly stones, was "Dior". We remarked to each other on the cleverness of designers and walked on. But then, alerted to the phenomenon, we began to notice that many of the hijabs that you see on Oxford Street have jewels around the cuffs or stones set on the sleeve and that sort of thing. I'd never noticed it before, but I guess there's a deep seated human desire to display status -- my husband is richer than your husband -- that will always find a way. It's just a different kind of bling.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

The evil of dihydrogen monoxide

This is pretty funny -- it's Penn and Teller sending out a researcher to get members of the public to sign a petition complaining about dihydrogen monoxide -- but there's a serious point behind it: the public are, generally speaking, a bit thick. They're not as thick as pop stars though: so what the campaign against dihydrogen monoxide really needs is a high-profile spokesperson like Chris Martin from Coldplay.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Smooth operators

How odd. I went into Starbucks with no. 2 son. I had a relaxing Latte, he wanted something with fruit. On the blackboard was advertised some form of special that seemed to involve apples and mangoes. He asked if it was a smoothie. The assistant told us "we're not allowed to call it a smoothie" but then went on to inform us in a conspiratorial aside that "but it is a smoothie". Has someone patented the word "smoothie"? I wonder if next time I ask for a coffee after lunch in a restaurant I'll be told "we're not allowed to call it coffee" because of a retaliatory strike by Starbuck's legal team. But, as always, truth is stranger than idle speculation in a snide aside. It turns out that Starbucks has already been trying to trademark particular coffee bean types!

Starbucks, the giant US coffee chain, has used its muscle to block an attempt by Ethiopia's farmers to copyright their most famous coffee bean types, denying them potential earnings of up to £47m a year, said Oxfam.

[From Starbucks, the coffee beans and the copyright row that cost Ethiopia £47m | World news | The Guardian]

I'm bored of saying it, but you can't make this stuff up.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

It's all about the kiddies

In the strange, looking-glass world of modern Britain, most stories in the daily newspapers are already beyond parody. For instance: I read in my newspaper (at least, I read in the newspaper of the man sitting next to me on the Tube) of an 82 year-old of woman who was stopped from taking photographs of an empty paddling pool in a public park because a council official was worried that she might be a paediatrician.

So it's true. Anyone out with a camera in a public place is now, officially, either a terrorist or a pervert (perhaps even both). How did this happen?

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Terror at 39,000 feet

How angry would you be if this happened to you!!

I was on a red-eye flight to the East Coast when nature called. I shut down my laptop and placed it in the seat pocket. On returning to my seat, I discovered it was missing. Surveying the surrounding area, I found a pre-teen boy nearby using my laptop. When I confronted the kid, his parent said the boy was bored and that I should share my computer with him. I refused and rang for the flight attendant, only to find out that she was the one who’d given the kid my laptop.

[From Macworld | The Portable Office: Travel Terrors]

I don't care how bored someone else's kid is, or who stupid the flight attendant is, I would go beserk.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]