Saved my bacon

I had to go to Copenhagen for something, and when I was at Heathrow, I read about a splendid new green initiative from All Nippon Airways.

All Nippon Airways (ANA) claims that empty bladders mean lighter passengers, a lighter aircraft and thus lower fuel use.

[From Airline goes green by asking passengers to use the toilet before boarding | Mail Online]

Apparently, the gate staff there are reminding travellers to go to the toilet before they get on the plane. The idea of this is to reduce weight on the flights, thereby saving on jet fuel, thereby helping the environment. What a brilliant idea! It struck me as just the sort of vacuous, irrelevant gesture that is perfect for Looking Glass Britain. I'm surprised that Bono didn't mention this in his address to the Tory Party conference. Usually, you just get celebrities flying around in private jets while telling the rest of us to use low-energy light bulbs, but this is so much better. A "take-a-dump for Gaia" campaign will get the public on board and certainly raise awareness of climate change issues. It will make people feel like they are doing something about climate, without really inconveniencing anyone (conveniencing, them in fact). I enthusiastically joined the campaign, and then boarded the flight.

When I got to the airport in Copenhagen, I thought I would continue with my heartfelt commitment to saving the planet and decided to take a bus to the hotel, as it looked as if it was directly on the 5A bus route from the airport. So I wandered out and hurrah! There was a 5A bus waiting. I jumped on, and then ran into a problem, since it hadn't occurred to me that I would have to pay, and I hadn't bothered to get any Danish Kroner and the bus didn't take cards. So I asked the driver if I could pay in euros, and he said it would be five euro. But oh no, I only had a 10 euro note and the driver didn't have any chance. I was just about to get off, when a youngish (I'd say mid-20s) man came forward and paid the fare for me. I asked him if he had a card or could write his address, and he told me in near-perfect English that the driver was trying to rip me off because the fare should have been half that, and please don't worry about the money. What a gentleman! The historic relationship between England and Denmark continues (I still consider the the crowns to be united, as I do not recognise the claim of King William I to the English throne).

In true pay-it-forward fashion, I swear the next time I see someone get on the bus and then get stuck because they have no change, I will cheerfully pay for them.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Old and new

I was on my way into Lloyds in the City of London when I saw

I couldn't resist trying to take an artistic picture to try and capture how beautiful the City looked in the fading light.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Ah, Vienna

A lovely sunny autumn day here in Vienna.

The transit system here is easy and quick and I used it to potter around town this afternoon, even going so far as to go into an eating establishment and have Viennese goulash (made with veal) and Viennese Apple Strudel, both of which were delicious. But now I've had my fill of local colour and I have to go and do some work.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Psychlepath

I was riding my government-subsidised bicycle to work again today and I noticed that I'm actually turning into a proper cyclist, and this is only my first month. I got really upset by cars cutting me up on the A320, gnashed my teeth because the council has let bushes grow over the path, swore at cars parked half on the pavement and felt a strange, warm glow of supercilliousness as I freewheeled past the petrol station. I don't know what's happening to me...

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Longest night

I was woken up in the middle of the night by howling wind, rain lashing against the windows and water splashing from a broken gutter on to the driveway. At first I was puzzled, since I didn't think that there was monsoon season in Britain any more, but then I remembered: it's nothing to do with global warming, it's the strange cosmic impact of Wimbledon, which starts tomorrow. Better get the raincoat for work tomorrow.

When I was woken, I was dreaming that the government had come up with a mental scheme to pay for comfortably-off middle class people like me to buy really fancy bikes and have them funded by the taxes of those on minimum wage. But when I woke up it turned out to be true, so like everyone else at work I've bought an expensive bike. I fully intend to attempt to ride it to work at some point in the future.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.

[posted with ecto]

Global cooling

Woke up this morning to a fairytale Christmas scene, with flakes falling gently outside and the garden covered in snow. The kids leaped out of bed and went out to have snowball fights and build a snowman with their friends. I started thinking about roast turkey with all the trimmings this afternoon... but hold on a minute, it's already a week after Easter!

This must be global cooling at work. Or was it global warming?

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]