Terror at 39,000 feet

How angry would you be if this happened to you!!

I was on a red-eye flight to the East Coast when nature called. I shut down my laptop and placed it in the seat pocket. On returning to my seat, I discovered it was missing. Surveying the surrounding area, I found a pre-teen boy nearby using my laptop. When I confronted the kid, his parent said the boy was bored and that I should share my computer with him. I refused and rang for the flight attendant, only to find out that she was the one who’d given the kid my laptop.

[From Macworld | The Portable Office: Travel Terrors]

I don't care how bored someone else's kid is, or who stupid the flight attendant is, I would go beserk.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Commercial break

The Great She Elephant has set up a T-shirt shop and has already created one of the definitive ideas for our age -- on her first day. T-shirts with meta-slogans. I've ordered one already, and so should you. Run, don't walk, over to Meta Tees.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Moving story

Well, today I had the most exciting train ride I've had for a long time. The guy sitting in the seat in front of me, in person a rather ordinary (in fact, rather dull-looking) middle-aged man in a grey suit -- I hope he's not reading this -- was reading his text messages on a Nokia smartphone of some description. I was seating in the seat behind, trying to get some work done. I could see over his shoulder through the gap in the seats, so out of sheer boredom I glanced at this screen. It was sensational! I couldn't see what he was typing because he held the phone down to his lap to type, but I could see the messages he was getting back when he held them up to read them. They were from a woman. I deduced that they worked together and that one of her friends had recently left her husband and that she might do that same. Most of the messages concerned speculation as to their joint activities when next along. Probably the only one that I can remember that is fit to describe in a family blog said that she was wearing a T-shirt under her work dress and that when they got behind the door (I'm not sure what that meant) she was going to strip off the dress so that he could... well, you get the picture. (I don't, by the way, as I'm unable to picture any especially stimulating T-shirts.) This sort of thing doesn't happen every day, so thanks for brightening up the morning, Mr. Grey and Mrs. Scarlet.

P.S. I would never send messages like this on a mobile phone. The danger of hitting SEND to the wrong person is just so overwhelming... and what are the chances you'd remember to delete the messages when it comes time to give the phone back to the IT department and pick up your new one...

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Rail, rain, ran

Picked a stupid day for my first attempt at riding my government-subsidised bicycle to work. I rode it to Woking in the rain, when I was late, locked it up in the town centre (where I saw a CCTV camera, so I assumed that was the best place to leave it) and then ran (well, jogged) up to the station to get on a train into London. I didn't realise that the good people of South West Trains have thoughtfully provided a bike rack inside the station itself, so next time I'll bring the bike in and lock it up there. Once again, I couldn't help noticing that it was less effort than I had been imagining: Taxpayer's money is clearly powering my pedalling.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Take a butcher's

A lovely meal -- very meat-centric -- out at the Butcher's Shop Grill in Nelson Mandela Square in Johannesburg.

Everyone is complaining about how high the prices are here, but that's probably because they haven't been to London recently. I noticed there's a lot of construction going in, including a new train line from the airport, through the townships and Johannesburg and on to Pretoria, which I guess must be related to the impending World Cup. If England don't make it down to South Africa in 2010, I will swear off of football for good. Mind you, my taxi driver was more pessimistic about the host's chances than I was about England's.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Miles and less

While sitting in a coffee shop in Singapore, I picked up a local business magazine that was reporting on some survey of airline passengers. It made the news because Singapore Airlines came top of the poll in most categories (as it usually does) and Changi airport came top of the airport poll in most categories (as it usually does). But I couldn't help noticing that our national flag bearer wasn't doing too well. It came second bottom (to Garuda) in amenities, which is pretty spectacular, and came rock bottom in frequent flier programmes. I think this is an accurate result. BA Miles is a rubbish scheme, which no longer serves as any form of incentive. I have thousands upon thousands of BA Miles and find it impossible to redeem them. Want to take the kids to the States? No chance: there's not a single BA Miles seat to San Francisco in the school holiday. Want to visit friends in India at Christmas? No chance: no seats to Mumbai or Delhi. The only places you can get to with BA Miles are places that you don't want to visit at times when you can't go. As soon as my BA Executive Gold card arrives in a couple of weeks, I'm going to complain -- I figure it will carry more weight once I've got the gold card -- and then start looking for airlines with better frequent flier miles. Any suggestions?

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]

Surveillance and stupidity

Searching for something else, I came across Camilla Cavendish, writing on Times Online. She is right to say that

The latest proposal by Home Office officials, to hold every telephone call and e-mail in the UK, described as a “crucial tool” for protecting national security and preventing crime, is wholly disproportionate.

[From We're a nation of interfering traffic wardens | Camilla Cavendish - Times Online]

But it's more than merely disproportionate: Delivering that kind of power to petty bureaucrats, especially British petty bureaucrats, actually stimulates, encourages and invites the kind of distressing behaviour that we imagine to be the torment of the hapless inhabitants of Burma or North Korea. Just as the Regulation of Invesitgatory Powers Act (RIPA) ended up being used by councils -- at great expense -- to stop parents from sneaking their children into State Education Camp No.913 when they should be going to State Education Camp No. 914, I firmly expect the government's great e-mail database to be utterly useless in finding Osama bin Laden but invaluable to Woking Borough Council when investigating important cases of people not shutting their rubbish bins properly. By matching the e-mail trail to the DNA database to the CCTV photos, they'll have you bang to rights if you put too much in your bin (too much being now defined as more than a binman, sorry binperson, can easily move with two fingers.

I know which way my two fingers are pointing. One of the reasons why I'm beginning to think it unlikely that my children will ever decide to stay and seek their fortune in this green and pleasant land is that the steady erosion of fundamental liberties -- for no good purpose -- is becoming so commonplace that it is scarcely remarked on.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.

[posted with ecto]

The world's least favourite credit card scheme

I was in the Far East and I needed a software package on my Mac because I wanted to muck about with some graphics for a presentation. I logged on to the (UK) software company and attempted to purchase. Both of my Visa cards were declined and the store doesn't take American Express (or anything else useful such as PayPal). Aaarrgh! How crap is this. Presumably, Barclays' systems were rejecting the transaction because it's CNP coming in from outside the UK and presumably the store doesn't really want any business from international travellers with Amex cards. So stuff them: I will buy the software from somewhere on the street next time I'm in Hong Kong and, frankly, I hope it's a bootleg since I'd done everything I might reasonably do to pay them when I needed the software. Wait a moment, there's always PirateBay...

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.
[posted with ecto]